Running is a great thing. If you have been walking around campus, or any area where there is a high concentration of young adults, you have surely seen runners out getting exercise. Many of you may think these people are crazy for choosing to run, but, believe it or not, there are many great reasons to start running. I will explain exactly why I think everyone should be a runner.
- First of all, have you seen runners? They're fucking hot. Runners tend to be in great shape and have amazing legs, abs, everything. If you run, you will usually be a healthy person and it will show in your appearance. I don't think I could ever date a non-runner because it just wouldn't be the same.
- Need another reason to run? When you run, you can eat whatever you want. No more watching what you eat or going on worthless diets. Ice cream, pizza, burgers, and anything else will not cause you to gain an inch on your waistline because of the massive amounts of calories you burn while running. But isn't eating bad foods unhealthy? It doesn't matter. As long as you look like you're healthy, who cares if you're malnourished. I eat terrible when it comes to fruits and vegetables, but you would never know by looking at me. And to anyone who would say they are healthier or in better shape than me because I have unhealthy eating habits, I challenge you to a race. As long as it's over half a mile, I will win, effectively proving that I am in better shape.
- But running is boring and no fun, right? Wrong. Some of the greatest and funniest people are runners, and the best way to meet them is to run with them. Cross country practice often turns into a three hour affair because when so many awesome people get together they just can't stop having fun. You find things to do that aren't even remotely related to running, like making bombs with aluminum foil and toilet cleaner or throwing chairs off the top of stadiums. If you decide to take up running, be prepared for the best time you've ever had.
- What is the number one reason to be a runner? The shorts. Runners wear the shortest shorts possible, and it is fucking glorious. Brooks. Asics. Nike. They all make wonderful sorts that are very short indeed. You feel so sweet wearing these things and they show off your legs that are so muscular and toned from running all those miles. You feel great, you get tons of attention from members of the opposite sex, you don't get too hot, and old men laugh at you. Are those all great reasons to wear running shorts? Yes they are.
If you choose not to run, that's fine, but it's a choice you need to urgently reconsider because of all of the wonderful benefits that come with the running lifestyle. So I have two words for all of the non-runners who still aren't convinced: start now!
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